living gracefully

Time flies. Why, I have no idea. It doesn’t seem to be fair sometimes. Alaina is 11 months old, on her way to 1 year, still planning that birthday party. I am crossing things off my 30 before 30 list. And I am parenting a teething child (if you don’t have kids: this should make you cringe).

Alaina is still not walking, although she is so close! The longest she has walked was 5-6 feet. She was so excited that she dropped down to her knees and squealed with glee. She can get places quicker crawling. She was even moved up to infant 2 at daycare this past month. My big girl

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Alaina now has 4 teeth, two on bottom, two on top. She is working on getting two more through on the top. I tell you what, it is miserable. She is cranky, her ears hurt, her teeth hurt, her nose runs, there is drool everywhere, she has fevers, and won’t sleep. It is as fun as it sounds. We live on ibuprofen and acetaminophen around here. Oh and caffeine for mama.

She continues to talk more. Still struggles getting out ‘dada’ sometimes. She will now often crawl up to me and say ‘mama’. Oh my lands, cue the melting heart. She loves to throw things. Not necessarily in a bad way. She has a good arm, we need to harness that. Although, sometimes, when she has something she is not supposed to have, she will quick throw whatever it is when I say her name, like, I didn’t have it.

When she isn’t teething, she always has a smile on her little face. Seriously, it lights up any room she is in. You just look at her and she breaks into a smile. She is so happy. Her laugh, will make any one start laughing.

Not only has Alaina been getting older the past 2 months, I have been doing a lot myself too. My sisters and I have officially applied to have a booth at a craft fair in September. One of the things on my 30 before 30 list! I am so excited. This is always something that I wanted to do. I love craft fairs, and now I get to be in one. The one thing I am nervous about, no body buying my stuff. Seriously, I get in my own head sometimes. I have yet to start making my crafts, I am going to have to work on them hard core this summer.

I am also hosting another craft night at church. Seriously, my life revolves around crafts. I love this craft. It is a mason jar box. I have always wanted to make these boxes, but never have. I tend to pick the crafts I have always wanted to make for church craft night. Gives me an excuse 🙂 I will keep you posted on the finished products!

We also went to P!nk! Within the first 5 seconds of the concert I turned to my husband and said “this is the best concert I have ever been to.” I had made up my mind in 5 seconds…that is all it took, she is that good. I am talking about hanging from a hot pink chandelier, swinging around on fabric bands…with no harness. I am not going to lie, I was afraid I was going to witness P!nk’s death. She is incredible. And she is such an amazing person too. She has the biggest heart.

 

Note to the reader: this was wrote when Alaina was 9 months old…but posted 2 months later. Mom life.

Well, it is official. Alaina has been in our lives for as long as I was pregnant. She is 9 months old! Well, technically, in one week she will be alive for as long as I was pregnant, she was a stubborn one.

I feel like she has learned so much this month. I cannot believe it. She is walking behind her zebra walker…for like 3 weeks now. What?! How does that happen? One day she would cry when we put her behind it, then the next she takes off. It is absolutely adorable. Her little legs, gah! What is cuter than a little peanut learning to walk?

She loves crawling. She is little miss speedy. Turn your back for a second and she could be on the other side of the house.

She hates the word “no”. Usually when she hears it and she is taken away from whatever she was getting into, tears usually start flowing, along with a good meltdown holler.

She loves to take stuff out of things. So she takes all of her toys out of her toy bins. She takes the DVD’s out of the DVD case (she learned that one this morning…meltdown when I took the DVD’s away from her and said ‘no’). She also will empty her bag she brings to Grandmas house. She also found where we store the computer cords, she loves her cords, they are in the TV stand cabinet. So she was constantly opening the doors to get to them. Kid locks don’t work on them…so we resorted to velcro-ing our cabinets shut…you get creative as a parent. But I tell you what, it worked.

She has also found her voice. She babbles all the time. Her favorite right now…”bababa”. With some dada’s and mama’s in there. She has also learned her “ck” sound, which comes from her throat, I can’t even imitate it, I have no idea how she does it. My favorite thing ever is coming home from work and she crawls to me saying “mamamama”. Oh my lands it melts my heart.

She has also learned how to high five, play “so big”, and clap. Say ‘yay’ and that kid will start clapping. My mom had to pick her jaw up off the floor when she saw it for the first time. She didn’t know she could do it.

I am already planning Alaina’s birthday party. Which is not shocking in any way, shape, or form. I love to plan things, usually I start way in advance, stop for a little while, then panic because I don’t have much time left to plan and get things ready. It is how I roll. I have big aspirations and plans…get bored…then have no choice but to work on it because the deadline is looming. At least I know what to expect, right?

 

My goals for this year…stay on top of things…like this blog. I have not wrote in forever, and so much has happened. I don’t want to write some loooonnnnggg drawn out post about the new year and my life the last 2 months, so this is my post about Alaina and her last 2 months of life. We have had a lot of firsts; first Christmas, first snow (she thought she had to eat it), first tooth (teeth: two bottom ones), first hotel stay, first New Year.  Things she is obsessed with; sticking out her tongue, opening cabinets, blowing raspberries, and watching Wheel of Fortune and Daniel Tiger. She is currently 8 1/2 months old (what?!?!, so crazy).

Alaina is crawling like a mad baby. Seriously, she gets into everything! She started crawling shortly after she turned 6 months old. We have a very determined, adventurous child on our hands. She isn’t happy doing something for very long. First she was happy because she could sit up on her own, then that became obsolete very quickly. So she started to crawl…a week later, that was not good enough and she had to pull herself up and stand next to furniture. A couple weeks later…not good enough, she has to walk along the furniture. Now, two days ago she started walking behind her walker. I have a feeling that we will have a walker before we know it. We learned quickly that we need to watch her at all times. Like, take your eyes off her for two seconds and she could be on the opposite side of the house…more than likely getting into something she shouldn’t be getting into, especially if she is quiet. A quiet baby is never a good thing.

Alaina has also found her voice. She has started to mimic us when we talk to her. Sometimes I think it is more mocking than mimicking…because it is often followed by laughter. (Side note, there is no sound sweeter than a baby’s laugh). She has said the words “hi”,and “yeah” for sure. I think she says “ma” at times…although that is coming from mom’s ears…and they are biased and may hear things at times. Mainly, when we ask Alaina to say “mama” or ‘dada” she sticks her tongue out and does raspberries. Then laughs. Oh baby.

Alaina celebrated her first Christmas. She had absolutely no interest in her gifts. There were 3 stipulations that she had to be interested in a Christmas gift: 1) the gift is not for her, 2) it is wrapped under the tree with a bow on it, 3) mom and dad say not to touch it. As soon as she had her own wrapped gifts in front of her to open, she showed little to no interest. Even after the gift was opened she would only want to find the smallest piece of wrapping paper she could find and play with that. I do have a side story…I had a mom fail moment. I was changing Alaina’s diaper. She was sick (more on that later) had really bad diarrhea, I opened her diaper and almost had a heart attack. There was red in her poop. Like bright red. As a nurse, you see red in a diaper and your mind goes to the worst possibly scenarios. My baby is bleeding internally. I was freaking out until I assessed the situation further. It was red wrapping paper. She had apparently ate a few small pieces of red wrapping paper when I wasn’t watching her close enough. Oops. And what goes in, must come out. I had to laugh at myself.  Anyway…I digress. Once her Christmas presents were all out of the boxes and she could play with them, she loved them. She loves this little monster that rolls around on the floor. And her my pal violet.

Alaina also had her first New Years, (We are no longer in the year my baby was born…I had a hard time with that one), and thank goodness she did not stay up till midnight. Heck, mama barely made it. We went to Detroit/Novi for New Year’s. We were worried about how it would go in a one room hotel room. But, we were up for the challenge. We got upgraded to a 2 room suite…I quickly became really glad we didn’t have to face our challenge anymore. I wimped out quick. Alaina had her own room, we didn’t have to hunker down with no lights at 8:00 anymore. I swear they pump something into the air in the hotel. Alaina went crazy. Like laughing while she was crawling and laughing like a maniac while we walked down the hallway in the hotel. It was so funny. The new place was so exciting. The main reason we went on this trip was because of the Christmas lights at the Detroit Zoo. It was amazingly magical. I know that is kind of redundant, but that is the perfect way to describe it. The entire zoo is full of Christmas lights. I have never seen so many lights in one spot. And I am obsessed with Christmas lights, they are my favorite. I could drive around for hours looking at Christmas lights. The only thing was that it was sooooo cold, like below zero cold. We had Alaina so bundled up, and we went through the zoo so fast. We would have loved to take our time, but we couldn’t. Oh well I guess we will have to go again sometime.

We also had some health scares right before Christmas. Jason had come down with the stomach flu, then about a week later, Alaina got it. Along with the stomach flu she got a horrible cold with fevers. It was the worst experience of my life. She couldn’t keep anything down and became dehydrated. We called the pediatrician and they sent us to the ER. They gave her some zofran and she was finally able to keep something down. So they sent us home. They said if she keeps throwing up after 2 more doses of zofran call the Dr.’s office again. Well guess who kept puking and was still super dehydrated? So dehydrated that she was lethargic. So the pediatrician sent us right back to the ER. This time they gave her IV fluids and IV zofran, they also made sure she didn’t have a UTI. It is horrible watching your baby get an IV. I actually held myself together, I have no idea how I did. Well, she seemed to turn the corner a little bit after that. It still took her about 3-4 more days to fully recover. It was a long week. On top of that, Jason and I were really sick too. I had the stomach flu and the cold, then got a sinus and ear infection, and Jason had a cold. I don’t think I have ever been so sick. It was horrible. I was so thankful for my families that week. The meals that were brought over, the trips taken with me to the ER, all were the greatest gifts ever. I don’t think I would have survived that week without them.

Alaina also loves to eat…everything. There are only two things she has not liked so far. Bananas, peas, and chocolate. Seriously…my daughter, it is scary. Things she loves, bread, pasta, and cheesecake. Seriously…my daughter. She will try any food. If we are eating something, she has to have it. And if she doesn’t get it fast enough, we have a screaming meltdown. Yesterday we ate lunch when Alaina was sleeping, I said to Jason “I am so excited that I get to eat without Alaina yelling for my food.” The things that make you happy as a parent.

We can’t wait to keep watching Alaina grow. It is going so fast. But, I wouldn’t change anything. Our life is so fun. Horribly difficult at times, but so fun.

I cannot believe it has been 1 month since my last update. I am really slacking here. One month later, we now have a 6 month old, and we are settled into our house! How things can change in 1 months time. First things first, our little 6 month old…

I cannot believe how fast the last half a year has gone. It has been one of the most difficult and joyful 6 months of my life. Everyone talks about the happy part of their child life. Not everyone talks about the difficulties. We live in a society that always shares all the positives on social media. It makes it look like we all live perfect lives, then, when our lives aren’t perfect, we compare ourselves to everyone else and become discouraged. I am just as guilty of this as anyone else. I only post the happy, good things. Why would I want to admit to failures and struggles? I think if we did, we would all be better people though. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others, we need to admit our struggles, embrace our struggles. Because it is in our struggles that we grow and learn more about ourselves. We find we are resilient people. As a new mom, I have struggled with being good enough. I am always afraid of not doing the right thing. There are times when I know I should be happy, but I am not. And it is not that my life isn’t wonderful, it is, I have a husband who I love and adore, and who loves and adores me, I have a daughter who is so happy and joyful. It is just hard sometimes. I was never diagnosed with Post Partum Depression, but I feel that maybe I had a little bit of. The weeks and months get better and better as they go by. I feel like I am my more happy self again. I have always struggled with some down moments and anxiety even before having a baby, so I know I will always have difficult days, but not everyday feels like a struggle anymore. Ok, so I digressed big time. Back to my adorable, lovable baby girl 🙂

Alaina has grown so much this past month. She has learned so much. She is sitting up now without anything behind her in case she would fall. She still will topple over at times, but she is able to soften her fall. She is in love with her Noah’s Ark Little People toy. She loves the animals, she loves it the most when mom and dad make the animals noises. She laughs so hard. She loves tossing all the animals overboard. She also loves her xylephone. Her favorite part? Eating the stick you use to hit the keys. She has no interest in using the stick for what it is intended for. Someone is teething…everything goes in her mouth. One of these days she is going to chop on my finger and there is going to be a tooth there. Not lying, I am not really looking forward to that moment in time. She loves her stuffed animals as well. She will snuggle them…and try to eat them. And the bigger the better. She loves the stuffed animals that are just as big as her. She is also getting so tall, she can barely sit under her play gym any more. Her head almost hits the top. It was really funny, the other day, she was sitting under the play gym, she looked up and realized the mirror was right by her face. She kept looking at it and making faces and laughing. This went on for a good 10 minutes. Seeing her personality bloom is one of the best things about being a mom. I get to see my little girl turn into herself.

 

She is still a champ when it comes to sleeping. She continues to sleep though the night. There is one new thing that she has started the kinda drives this light sleeping mama crazy…I swear she sleep talks. The other night she was talking in her crib on and off for about 2 hours straight. Just when I thought she was finished, she would start again. It is adorable for the first little while, but when it goes on for hours…it gets old fast. When I finally fell asleep and she woke up for good the next morning, one of the first things I said to Jason was, “she is lucky she is cute.” She is worth the sleepless nights. And she spoils us with how well she sleeps.

She is also so close to crawling…like sooooooo close. She is able to get on all fours, she can get her legs to move, but hasn’t quite figured out her arms have to move too. She will rock back and forth and then faceplant. It is kinda funny. She gets so mad that she can’t get to where she wants to go though. She keeps trying to go forward but can’t, then she has her little meltdown, face buried into the carpet arms and legs flailing meltdown. I can’t help but laugh. It is the cutest little tantrum. She has got moving backwards and sideways mastered. When you lay her down or sit her on the floor, 5 minutes later she will most likely not be in the same place she started. Hence the buying a baby gate this past week. It is fun to watch those wheels in her head turn though. You can tell she is thinking so hard trying to get it all figured out.

Now to our house (goodness that sounds so good)! We originally went through the house on Sept 7, our offer was in on Sept 10, offer accepted Sept 11, closed Sept 28, moved Sept 29 and 30. It was such a whirlwind, but such an amazing experience. We could not be happier. Alaina can squeal, cry, laugh and we don’t have to worry that we are bothering our neighbors (even though they were amazing and could care less if they heard her). Our backyard is to die for. We got the roof re-done, the trim around our outside windows painted, and our front door and side door into the garage painted AQUA!!! The house is officially feels like it is our home now. We made it our own. We have a few more things that need to be done on the outside to make is look perfect, but it is so close to being done. Some of you might be wondering how I convinced my husband to paint our doors aqua. Well, it involves letting him buy a U of M flag to put on our porch. Sometimes things are all about compromise 🙂 Now our life is waiting for all the leaves to fall in our backyard. Almost all the leaves have dropped in the front yard, it hasn’t even started yet in the backyard. I think this cool week ahead will cause them all to drop quick. It is amazing how doing yard work is much more enjoyable when you actually own your own house. It makes you feel like you are accomplishing something. The one thing I am looking forward to the most is decorating for Christmas. I keep coming up with so many ideas of how to decorate both the inside and the outside of our house. We will see if I can make my ideas come to fruition.

I also have an update on craft night. Our craft night was filled up almost after the first church service, it was completely filled up shortly after the second service got out. And people are on a waiting list! Nobody at our church signs up on time. They usually wait until the last minute. I even had someone from another church contact me to see if they could get a supply list so they can do a craft night at there church as well.  I can’t wait until the craft night is here. I have decided too that I am going to make the “joy” signs (and some other things as well) for a craft fair next year! This is something on my 30 before 30 list….be in a craft fair. I am so excited, yet so nervous because I am afraid of it being a failure. We will see how it all goes. My goal is to do it next fall, it might be 2 falls away though, depending on how quickly I can get them made. They will come in all different colors. I will keep you all updated!

Sorry I have been MIA lately. Life has been super busy and chaotic the last several weeks.   Things that have happened since I last updated…

1. Alaina turned 5 months old. What?! How that is possible, I have no idea.
2. We bought a house!!! We are in love with this house! We have yet to hard core pack

So on our first update. Alaina. I keep saying this every month, I have no idea where time has gone. This little peanut has consumed our lives…in every good way possible. She laughs and smiles all the time. She is enamored by her daddy. She cannot take her eyes off of him. When he walks into the room, she looks at him and she breaks into a huge smile…usually followed by some hyperventilating sounds because she is so excited. She loves to watch him talk, eat, work on work stuff,  watching football, whatever he is doing she is watching. It is probably one of the best things about my day. She will even sit and watch football with him. She loves it! All the bright colors running around on the field. She gets so excited and cheers when touchdowns and good passes are made (if that is what they are called?). We have a daddy’s girl. And I am completely in love with it.

At 4 1/2 month old our little girl grew up big time…she learned to sit up on her own. We have a super baby 🙂 She is a rockstar. We still put the bobby around her…because if she gets too excited she will sometimes topple over. She has become so much better at catching herself though. It is so nice because she is able to now entertain herself. I can set her down, with her toys piled around her, and go do the dishes and she is fine with it. As long as she had things to put in her mouth. I am convinced she is teething. The drool and chewing is real. She has a Simba stuffed animal that she is obsessed with, the tail on that thing is so matted because it goes straight to her mouth. I got a amber teething necklace for her this week. We will see if it works or is a farce? Might as well try it though right?

She has also started eating baby food. So exciting. And she loves it! Sweet potatoes and squash are her favorites. Peas on the other hand…not so much. She loves eating baby food so much that it took her a while to realize she was eating peas. She seemed to like them at first. Then about half way through, she realized what she was eating and was disgusted. I seriously cannot feed her fast enough when she is eating sweet potatoes and squash. If a new spoonful is not by her mouth when she finishes her current mouthful, the tantrum starts. She will dive towards the spoon too. It cracks me up. She cannot get enough. When she is finished with the container she will keep looking at the empty container and then look at me, like she is saying, “come on mom, keep it coming.”

She also finally learned to roll over from her back to her belly…and I don’t think it will be long until she is crawling! She has had the whole belly to back thing down for a while, however took a little while for the other to catch on. She was sitting up on her own before she learned to roll over. Stinker. One morning I put her down for her nap…on her back. Ten minutes later I look at the monitor and guess who is on their belly? She zonked out like that. Ever since then…we have had a belly sleeper, just like her mommy. My favorite thing lately is that when she falls asleep on her belly, he butt is up in the air, like she is sleeping in the downward dog position with her legs underneath her…can you now see why I think she will be crawling sooner rather than later?? Listening to her over the monitor at night is hilarious. She talks to herself endlessly, it is not a cry…more like babbling. Oh how I would love to know what she is thinking.

We are so in love with our little girl. She means the world to us. Every day is a new adventure. And every day my love grows for her. There are alway difficult times, and times that I get overwhelmed, I think every mother does. This whole motherhood thing is a learning experience. I learn something new everyday. Not only about being a motherhood and my daughter, but about myself as well. I am a stronger person than I thought. I have my breakdown moments and some days are exhausting, but I am able to get through them better than ever before.

Stay tuned for house update…

 

These past few weeks have been a whirlwind…I haven’t got a chance to write about it. I have barely got a chance to slow down and catch my breath even. Two weeks ago we got pre-approved for a house!!! What?! It seems crazy that everything is coming full circle. We have been saving our butts off for the past 2 years to get to this point. I can’t believe it is already here! House hunting is super exciting, yet super scary too. This housing market is crazy right now in West Michigan. If you don’t get on a house right away, it may be gone the next day….not a good combo for an indecisive girl with anxiety. House hunting has consumed me. I check my email for listing updates like my life depends on it…for the record, my life does not depend on it. I have never checked my email so much in my entire life. My heart skips a little beat when I see a listing update show up. I am a piece of work. I need a xanax. We have not found a house yet, we saw one tonight that would have been perfect, except for the fact that it smelled like animal (it even had new carpet) and there has been flooding issues. I don’t do flooding issues. One thing that really makes this house hunt difficult is the fact that I am a builders daughter. My dad builds very high quality/high end homes…he doesn’t cut corners. So, growing up, I was always around very very nice homes he was building. I have high expectations…and not all houses live up to that. I have to keep reminding myself (my husband does too…boy does he have his work cut out for him) that this is our first home, it is not going to be immaculate. We will see where these next weeks take us and what comes on the market. I know we will find a house…it is just a matter of when. And this impatient woman is going nuts.

Another thing that happened in the past 2 weeks is the solar eclipse on August 21. Seriously, one of the coolest things I have ever seen, and by us the sun was only 80% covered. What a historical moment though. The first total solar eclipse to go across the entire continental U.S. in 99 years (I believe). My inner 5th grade, wanna be meteorologist, self was freaking out.  I contemplated a career change that day. I love weather (ish) stuff. It fascinates me. Growing up I really wanted to be a meteorologist/tornado chaser…how I got a nurse out of that I have no idea. My mom and a few of my sisters came over to watch the eclipse through my eclipse glasses. We were afraid it was going to be cloudy, but the clouds went away for about an hour and a half during the eclipse. It could not been timed more perfect. The big guy upstairs knew what he was doing. It is my goal to travel to Ohio (or wherever) for the next solar eclipse in 2024 so I can see it in totality. Bucket list!

Speaking of bucket lists…I am making a 30 before 30 list. I am currently 26 and am making a list of 30 things that I want to do/accomplish before I turn 30. (I may have stole the idea from a friend…but it is such a great idea!) I currently have only 15 items on my list, but I keep coming up slowly with ideas. Is it bad that I want to keep coming up with different craft talents that I keep coming up with…like learn calligraphy, learn how to crochet. I will learn these things! Even if it takes the full 4 years…and even if I turn out to be really bad at it. You can’t win everything right? I think it will be fun to have these goals over the next 4 years of my life. I love checking things off lists I have made, I feel it will be very satisfying to check all 30 things off in the next 4 years. And at the end I will be able to look back and look at all the new things I have accomplished. Then I can start my 40 before 40! 🙂

In Michigan the past week has been on the chillier side…that can only mean one thing…winter is coming wayyyyyy to soon! However, I often forget there is that awesome time in-between summer and winter, where the weather is just perfect. It is almost the time between summer and fall almost too. Where the temps are low 70’s, high 60’s. That has been Michigan weather this past week .and a half That being said, I finally broke down and hauled out my Autumn candle. This is the one thing I look forward to the most about the fall…my candles! Seriously, I have way too many candles, I have an addiction. It doesn’t help my addiction when my husband also loves the Autumn scent candle from Bath and Body Works…especially when he offers to go and buy more…even though you may already has 2 left from last year. Anyway…I digress. I finally broke down and brought out my Autumn candle before September even hit. I tried to hold out…but I couldn’t any longer. And it was HEAVENLY!

Now, to my last endeavor of the last 3 weeks. I am hosting a Christmas craft night at our church this fall. Well…my mother-in-law is hosting craft night at our church. Me being the super crazy craft person I am, took it upon myself to find the crafts to make. So we are making pallet Christmas trees or a “Joy” sign. I have an unhealthy obsession with coming up and planning this kind of stuff. It is now my dream to plan 2 craft nights each year at church…yes I already have my spring crafts picked out 🙂 I haven’t started putting together my pallet Christmas trees yet…but I have started on my Joy sign. It is soooooo cute so far, lots and lots of glitter. It doesn’t get much better than that, or Christmasy. I am not looking forward to winter at all, because, well, snow, but I am looking forward to Christmas. It is my all time favorite holiday! The joy that surrounds the holiday is unlike any other. I love sitting by the Christmas tree when it is lit at night, with a cup of hot chocolate, watching a movie or reading a book, with a candle burning…oh my goodness I am craving this right now. It is even pretty when the snow is gently falling (did I just say that?)…as long as it is not falling heavily. People are in a better mood overall too, as long as they are not trampling other to get the best deals on Black Friday. It is also the time that we get to celebrate the birth of Christ. It is the very beginning of the Christian faith. Doesn’t get much better than that.

 

 

I say this all the time…but seriously…where did time go! My little girl is freaking 4 months old, that is 1/3 of a year old…this is not ok! As she lays next to me on the floor right now, looking at herself in the mirror, smiling and laughing at herself, playing with her snail that lights up and plays music when she touches it, I am amazed at how quickly she has grown up. She has been out of the newborn stage for quite sometime…but for some reason it has really hit me lately. (She is almost in 6 month clothes…what?! I am still in denial and try to squeeze her into 3 month clothes). You know the saying “the days are long but the years are short” I made a new saying for this point in my life. “The days are long but the months are short.” It could not be more true. There were some days that I could not wait for them to be over, or even some nights (even though I lucked out and my baby sleeps sooooo well, like sleeping through the night by a little over 2 months old…don’t hate me), however, now looking back, I would not have traded those moments for anything. And they seem like forever away! My advise to new parents…cherish every moment, you might think to yourself, I can’t wait till they can do this, or they can do that, just enjoy the moment you are in. Take it all in. Even the crappy moments…because there are some. Let’s be honest. I do find myself thinking, oh I can’t wait until she is eating real food, or I can’t wait until she is able to sit up on her own. But I also follow with the thought…I love this time and moment right now, I am not wishing away time. People always warned me that children grow up so fast…I feel like I am getting just a glimpse of it. I know time will begin to go by even faster, and months will quickly turn into year, and years will quickly turn into decades. I am determined to hold onto every minute, and love it for what it is. Silver lining right?

My snuggly baby is no longer. I tell you what, that snuggly stage does not last long, at least for my little girl it did not, maybe one month max. Alaina does not like to miss out on anything. She needs to be up and looking around at all times. She is my little E.T. You want her to fall asleep at a baseball game…good luck with that, especially when there are two adorable little boys behind her that she can’t take her eyes off. She wanted to have fun too! And don’t you dare think about leaving her laying in the living room by herself for too long while you are in the kitchen making dinner. There is no one in her sight line…so she can have a little bit of a meltdown. You then go to her…talk to her, get her smiling again, and boom, she’s good to go for a few more minutes. Quick recipes are the way to go, or just wait until Jason is home.  She also doesn’t like to miss out when we are watching T.V. Being a 4 month old…she should not be watching T.V. So when we put her on the floor, we put her facing away from the T.V. Well she is a determined little child…we look down about 5 minutes later, and guess who is turned around, watching T.V. Seriously…I will give you one guess. Little turd.

And we have super exciting news….she sleeps in her crib at night!!!! We won the battle. Seriously, it felt like we were fighting a battle with our 3 month old…and she was winning for a long time. For weeks, we tried putting her in her bassinet for naps…every single time, she would wake up about 20 minutes after we put her in there. At times she would cry for about 45 minutes before falling asleep too. We thought she was going to sleep in her rock in play forever. When Alaina was a little older than 3 months, I went to my doctors office to have a mole removed. She had said her son had slept in his rock in play until the age of 10 weeks. They were trying to get him to takes naps in his crib as well to slowly get him used to it…he would only sleep 20 minutes too. Her husband read that if you are trying to start new sleep habits, start them at night. Kids sleeping patterns are different at night, making it easier to establish new sleeping habits. They put there son in his crib at night…and he slept like a dream. So we thought, what do we have to lose? We put her in her bassinet the first night…she slept the whole night through! It had finally worked! The only problem…she seeps really loud. She smacks her feet down and hits the mattress when she sleeps, she wakes up and talks for a little while. I slept terrible, her bassinet is right next to me. There was no way this was going to last long. The next day at work I was telling one of our nurse practitioners about it…I wasn’t even able to finish my story and she was saying, “Get that baby out of your room, you will sleep better, she will sleep better.” Now…I had wanted to try putting Alaina in her room, in her crib, for weeks, Jason, not so much. I think it was the idea of her being upstairs when we are on the main level. And I can’t blame him. But, I was able to convince him. And again she slept the whole night through, she did wake up a few times and talk, which woke me up because of the monitor. It has got soooooo much better the past 2-3 weeks. I still have to put her monitor on really low, because any sound she makes during the night I wake up to. But she is a rockstar. I am so proud!

Another important thing that I have learned as a new mom is that you really need to take time for just you and your husband. You need to take a day to yourselves, without the little one. Even though we love her to death, it is always important to have time away from her to focus on our spouse and our marriage. Because if that isn’t strong, we are not going to be strong parents. So we went to Unity Christian Music Festival, an outdoor Christian music festival in Muskegon, MI. We ate a ton of food…and didn’t count as many Weight Watchers Points as we should have. We got to see Matthew West, Laura Story, Mac Powell, Zach Williams, and Kurt Anderson. It was so amazing! I had never been, and now I want to go back every year. All those people in one spot, worshiping Christ together, with my husband by my side. Seriously people…it doesn’t get much better than that!

On July 22 Alaina turned 3 months old! I still can’t believe it 2 weeks later. I think back to when I was pregnant and 3 months seemed like it was forever. I feel like she has been a part of our family for much longer than 3 months, even though the time flew by…does that make any sense? I feel like I have been mom to this amazing child for much longer than 3 months. Then again, I was mom even before she was born. I was mom from the moment she was conceived. I loved her from the very beginning.

She is such a happy (most of the time), active, strong baby. She loves to be sitting up (put her in her bumbo and she is a happy baby) and seeing everything that is going on. She does not want to miss out on anything; she has major FOMO. She even stands on her own when we are only hanging onto her hands. She completely holds herself up…I don’t think that is normal. I am afraid I am going to have a walker at 9 months old. On her 3 month birthday she rolled over from her stomach to her back. I freaked out…poor Jason missed most of it. It happened so quick. I think she startled herself. She laid on her back like “how did I get here???”  She loves music. Put on some Christian music and she is good to go. She loves listening to the band “I Am They”. They happen to be my favorite Christian band so I have no problem listening to their album on repeat. I created an “I Am They” radio station on apple music and she loves it. I would much rather listen to that anyway than the annoying kid music that gets stuck in your head and before you know it you are singing the “The Wheels on the Bus” out loud all day without the baby around.  She also thinks it is hilarious when getting her clothes changed, when we take her arms in and out of her clothes. She laughs just about every time. It is so funny! Who knew it could be so entertaining. She thinks its even funnier when she tries to eat her hand while you are trying to get her dressed,  making it even more difficult. We have a character on our hands. Like one of my patients said when she saw a picture of her, “She has that twinkle in her eye. Watch out.”

She hates to nap…like with a passion.  You would think she would be able to cry herself to sleep…not our child. She doesn’t roll like that. She only take maybe 2 or 3 short naps a day. We are trying to get her to take naps, and ultimately sleep at night, in her bassinet. It is not going so well. We made the mistake of letting her sleep in her rock and play (I know I know she isn’t supposed to sleep in it…don’t judge) the second night home from the hospital…she is addicted. (Whenever we have baby #2, they will never get to sleep in the rock and play…we have learned our lesson the hard way.) She hates laying flat on her back. The longest we have got her to sleep in her bassinet is just under a hour, woohoo. Needless to say…we have a long way to go. And now poor thing has a cold…so she is getting spoiled and getting to take naps in the rock and play. She is so congested I feel like she can breath so much better.

With poor Alaina having a cold…I have become a believer in the most disgusting baby product on the market…in my eyes. The nose frieda. You suck the snot out of your baby’s nose…ewwww. But, it works like a dream! Seriously…buy this thing! She hates it and I feel like I am sucking her brains out, and she acts like I am. But it gets so much more out than the little snot bulb. I pray we are on the upswing of this cold.

Alaina also is very vocal. She loves to make noise and talk all the time. My favorite is when she talks to herself in the morning when she wakes up. She wakes up like her mommy…nice and slow, she doesn’t like to jump awake. So, she talks to herself for a while before she starts crying for food. I just lay in bed and laugh. She has also learned how to laugh. It is a cross between a giggle and a squeal. The other night she started laughing when I was playing with her…and she kept laughing and laughing. I then started laughing uncontrollably…before we knew it we were both laughing uncontrollably at each other. Jason then joined in as well. It lasted for a good 10 minutes. It was a fantastic ab workout. Everybody needs a good belly laugh out once in a while. It is good for the soul.

Now, what I have been up to these past couple weeks. I went crazy on Amazon Prime Day…sorry Jason. I became very ambitious and bought a sewing machine, one of the many things I bought. I have so many projects I want to attempt…including those stinking adorable bibdana’s. I have yet to figure out how to properly thread the bobbin on my sewing machine though. And that is kind of an important part to sewing. So, I have to go to my mom for help (I am not above that at all).  I am determined to figure this out…and learn to sew in a straight line! (Something I have always struggled with). Plus I have always used my moms sewing machine growing up, and anytime the thread would become tangled or the bobbin would need to be rethreaded, she would always do it for me…she is too good to me!

I have also started another project for my sweet grandma. I make flowers out of pinecones by painting them. My grandma came over to see Alaina when she was born and she kept commenting on my pinecones. So, I am making a ton of them for her. She wants them made into a wreath. So…I am on the search for a ton of pinecones. I pick them up on walks…the bottom of Alaina’s stroller is full of pieces of pinecones. I have gained a new goal now that I have started this project. I want to make up hundreds of them and sell them at a local craft fair that happens every September in my hometown. I want to be able to sell them at next years craft fair. We will see if I have time to accomplish my goal. It is something that is therapeutic to me. I love to be creative. I feel like it resets my mind and helps me re-focus on myself and my family. I am able to get rid of some of the stress and anxieties that I carry too much of on my shoulders. My advice to you is…find something that helps reset your mind. Something that you can do to get away from focusing on the stresses and anxieties of life. It is so good for your mental health. And our mental health is just as important than our physical health if you ask me.   I have learned though that I can’t let my love of crafting come in the way of spending time with my family, quality time with my husband and daughter is the best and most important thing. I have to make sure I have good balance.

I have also lost 5% of my weight these past two weeks! I am currently doing weight watchers to loose my baby weight…and then some. I have always struggled with my weight. I am determined to become a healthier me, for good. Not only for myself, but for my husband and daughter as well. I want to be able to hike with them, play with them and not let my weight get in the way of it. I feel like I will feel better about myself as well, which is something I have always struggled with. Hopefully I know this isn’t a fix all, I have to start thinking more positively too…but I am hoping this will help kick start that positive thinking. It is not easy. I love food…like a lot. and mainly unhealthy food. If it is fried, full carbs or fat, or covered in ranch I am a fan. None of these are weight watchers friendly things. I have had to find new foods that I love that are healthy. I have made a chicken parm that was so good, and not full of points. I also made cauliflower fried rice. Oh my goodness you could barely tell you were eating cauliflower instead of rice. It was so good, and a great healthy Chinese food fix. I have been much more adventerous  with foods, especially veggies. I still will splurge every once in a while and still have the unhealthy things I love so much…just not nearly as often as I have in the past. Everything in moderation. My husband and I decided that when we each get to 20 lbs lost we are going to have a real binge night…where we get take out from wherever we want, binge a show on Netflix, and binge (but not really binge, that is dangerous) on alcohol (mainly it means having 2 glasses instead of 1). I can’t wait for this! I am craving a pizza from herb and fire! With the garlic cream sauce and goat cheese and sausage and bacon, sun-dried tomatoes and garlic…oh my goodness yum. I am salivating just talking about it. I will have to write about it when I get there.

 

 

 

A couple weeks ago, we went to Ludington, MI (one of our favorite places) for a long weekend. It was probably the most interesting Ludington trip we have taken thus far. It involved camping, in a tent, with a 3 month old. I know, I know, we had several people tell us we we crazy. It actually went surprising well. It was an adventure and I feel like we are super parents because we accomplished this huge feat. The packing is probably the most stressful thing, at least it was for me, and it was my husband who did most of the packing. I was terrified we were going to forget something important for Alaina. It did help that Jason’s parents rented a condo in town, it turned out to be a lifesaver, on more than one occasion. This is how our long weekend panned out…

Day 1: We arrived in Ludington and set up our tent…child free! (Thanks Mom and Dad, they brought Alaina up with them). This was one of the first times we have not set up our tent without it pouring rain…in fact, every time we have set up our tent in Ludington, it has been raining. So we had no baby and no rain…it was the best tent set up ever. Even though we had a wonderful set up, we still didn’t get to sleep in it the first night. After eating yummy smore’s over the fire, the lightning and thunder started rolling in. I will tell you what, as a mom, I have never been so afraid of thunderstorms. I have another little life to worry about. Because there is no cell service at the State Park we had no idea if the storm was bad or if was even going to hit us. So we packed up and went to the condo with my in-laws. They were a life saver. They carted Alaina off while we packed up our stuff to bring to the condo. They laughed because they felt like they were kidnapping Alaina in the night.

 

Day 2: It was a pretty dreary day…so it was a nice day to wake up in a condo. In the morning we made bath bombs with essential oils…seriously, these things are amazing! They leave your skin so stinking soft. Jason’s aunt, grandma, and a couple of his teenage cousins were along on the trip as well. The girls loved making the bath bombs. They got to experiment with mixing different scents and colors.

Later in the day we got to go for a hike. It was the perfect weather for a hike, not too hot that it felt like you were melting, but not cold either. Hiking has changed a lot since we had a baby. When Alaina wants to eat, she wants to eat now…no matter where we are. So we have to take occasional breaks. She is such a trooper, she gets carted around to so many different places and she just goes with the flow. I highly recommend that parents go a lot of different places with their babies. We have found that she learns to adapt well. We want to get her used to being in many different places so that we can go on trips without her panicking because she is in a new and different place. We want to experience different places with her. We are building memories as a family…and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

We topped the night off with a stunning sunset. I think this was the first sunset I have seen over Lake Michigan this year. Then again I think just about every sunset is stunning. I love sitting back and marveling at God’s beautiful creation, it is one of my favorite things.  The same God that made that beautiful sunset, also made me. That is humbling.

Alaina got to go back to the condo with Grandpa and Grandma that night, the low was only 52 degrees, Jason and I can handle it, but I didn’t want Alaina to suffer in the cold all night. It was our first night without her since she was born. It felt like a part of me was missing almost. I am proud of myself that I didn’t shed a tear!

Day 3: We had a morning baby free. We got to read around the smoky fire, and eat breakfast at the same time. We had to fight off the stupid chipmunks though. I hate those little things. They sneak up on you, and before you know it, they are right next to your foot. I don’t like anything jumping out at me and startling me. The in-laws brought Alaina back around 10:00. The hiking adventurers then went on a long morning hike. My mother-in-law and I decided to stay behind and take the easy walk/hike with Alaina. It was so nice to be able to just talk to her, just her and I. It is important to have bonding time with a mother-in-law.

Later in the afternoon we got to go tubing down the river. Don’t worry, Alaina stayed with Great-Grandma. Although we did see a lady walking to the start of the river with a baby who looked to be 3 or 4 months old and a tube…to top it off, the baby didn’t have a life jacket or anything. I would be terrified that I would flip or my baby would fall off my lap and drown. Anyway, I digress. We got to relax on the river, with a Henry’s Hard Grape Soda in hand (those things are amazing!) We made it all the way to the lake.

The low temperature for the night was going to be 58 degrees so we decided to take a swing at this sleeping with a 3 month old in a tent thing. We bundled her up and put her in her rock and play. Alaina rocked it out! She slept until 6:45, then she fell back asleep and slept until 10:15. It was amazing. She is a natural born camper. We are raising her right.

Day 4: Beach day! We went to the beach with the family. Going to the beach with an infant isn’t very relaxing. It is hot and sunny, two things she isn’t a big fan of. She doesn’t like to sweat…she may be like her mom. Oh boy. I did get to read my book for a little while, Jason was hanging out with Alaina.

When we went to leave, my car wouldn’t start, all I heard was click, click, click. So we had an abrupt change of plans. We left my car on the campsite (luckily we had it for an extra day) went to the condo, ate dinner. Then Jason and his dad went back to the campsite to try to jump the car. No such luck. Jason took everything out of my car that I needed and him and Alaina needed. He stayed in Ludington with Alaina that night. I had to be to work the next morning. So I took his car home, he would then buy a new battery the next morning for my car and come home. I got to get my House of Flavors ice cream first before I left. You can’t go to Ludington and not have House of Flavors; it is against the law I think. I bawled like a baby before I left. I was leaving my husband and my baby in Ludington and I was going home. I had to sleep in our apartment alone and go to work the next morning. I cried for the first 30 minutes of my drive. I couldn’t sleep that night. I stayed up till 1:00 reading/finishing my book. it was too strange to be in the house alone. I missed my husband and my baby. Pieces of my heart were missing.

As you can tell…we had many camping adventures. Things have definetly changed since having a baby, but for the better. We have to make more of an effort to do things…but we are determined to live our life not too different than we did before kids. They will just have to come along with us on our adventures. Starting our family memories.

 

 

 

I went back to work on July 7. One of the most difficult days of my entire life. I think I cried several times the day before…I couldn’t hold myself together. Anytime Jason would mention me going back to work I would lose it. Like full out ugly cry. As soon as I got to work though and saw all my co-workers again and all of my patients, I didn’t feel like I was going to cry every two seconds. Now what I am two full weeks back into it…it is much easier to leave, not easy yet, but easier. I don’t think  it will ever be easy. My patients have been so giddy to have me back. I love it, they ask me questions and I get to talk about Alaina and brag her up and show off pictures…what mom doesn’t love to do that??

My favorite thing is that Jason gets to take care of Alaina. They get some good daddy/daughter bonding time. I love getting pictures throughout the day of “Camp Daddy”. I got my fair share of bonding time, we had our time together when Jason was done with school, and now he gets his bonding time. I think it is so important for a little girl to spend quality time with her dad. I look forward to all the summers ahead that they will get to spend together, with and without me. I look forward to the smiling pictures I will get and the stories I will get to hear when I get home. I love this time now…and I am not wishing it away…I am only looking forward to what the future holds.

The captions that came along with these pictures are as follows…Top Left: “Dad is making me wear a dress on the first day!” Top Right: “Someone just woke up.” (She is not a morning person). Bottom Left: “Camp Daddy Sucks” (she hates sleeping in her bassinet).

 

One thing I again realize, maybe even more so now, that I am back to work as a mom, is that cancer sucks. It is a horrible disease that tears apart families. It takes mothers from children, children from mothers, husband from wives, and friends from friends. As a mother, my heart breaks even more so now when there is a mother getting treatment and she has young children, I can’t help but put myself in their shoes. It takes all I have to not let the tears flood my eyes. It still amazes me yet the life that cancer also brings out…sounds weird right? I find that when a patient is diagnosed with cancer, they have a new perspective on life. They don’t take the days they have for granted. Each day is a gift. It is a reminder that is needed. I know that no matter how horrible my day is, it could always be worse. I need to enjoy every day, because tomorrow everything could change. It might seem morbid to think that way…but it makes every day a gift. I think it is important to have that perspective in life.